As I'm now in my 28th year of life I have learned so much about myself and I have grown so much. I no longer try to compare myself to other females like I used to do all the time. I was always worried about what a others thought about me, were they thinking negative things, because that is what i thought about myself. but why Lace ? I don't know why I let that consume me for so many years.
It is crazy to me that I am now 148.2 (Yay haha i haven't been under 150 from more than 1 day in over 2 years) and I am happier about my body then I have ever been. Not to confuse that with my body being where it should be, because I am not where I want to be physically. However mentally my self imagine is better then it has ever been.
I am doing everything in my power to be more fit, to be active, to get stronger and I am putting more good things into my body than bad. Which all those things make me happy inside and out.
It blows my mind, looking back at pictures that I took when I first moved to New Mexico to be with my husband when I was 17 and 125 pounds and thought i wasn't skinny enough. bonkers! why is it instilled in some of us that we aren't ever good enough?!
Now 11 years later I have an scar from above my belly button down to my pelvic region, I have stretch marks on my stomach, sides, thighs, arms, calves, butt, everywhere. I was so depressed and self conscious about them some days, and then others I was fine with them because my body held a little human being for 10 months and my scar is a reminder i have beaten cancer. It was always a toss up on what I would feel every new day that came. Now I don't look down on them or try to pick them apart anymore because I can't change the fact that those are there. And I know my body is beautiful to me who cares what others think of it. :D I am the one living in my skin!
I see people all around me always criticizing other peoples bodies for every little thing you can imagine, instead of seeing the beauty in them. I know it is also stemming from their own personal self esteem issues because that is what i did for so long. Or there are those people who will always think they are better than. no matter what. (I just pray for those ones).
But I look at that big person running down the street and that is motivation to me get out and go for a walk. Or I see other Moms getting out and getting fit and that encourages me. People who lost a limb or was born without, lifting weights or are super fit that motivates me. People who look down upon or critique every little thing about a person that just makes me sad for that person. smh
Stop worrying about others and fix yourself.
I just hope people understand it is ok to have a few extra pounds or have a couple stretch marks on your body. We are all human, some of us get them and some don't. Some of us have a little more fluff because we like sweets a tad too much and some can eat sweets for days and remain skinny minnie. We are all different and unique in our own way.
However i am not condoning bad health habits. I believe every person should get up, get out and be active. Do something that gets your heart rate up. Its what the body is made for. Enjoy life. Stop letting days go by being miserable with negative thoughts.
My point is I am happy with the person I have become. I am excited to see more changes I look forward to the future now I'm not scared of it. No matter what if I fail to do good one day i will continuously pick myself back up and push forward the next day. I am only in competition with myself. I am not trying to be no one else, and It is okay to be different then everyone else. go out and be a unicorn Lace! haha
Good night.
